A plea for decent Coffee shops

I imagined motherhood to open the doors to a warm community of chatting mums exchanging ideas, laughs and doing plenty of things together but alas this seemed a myth. In my outer London town which deceivingly appeals to baby-breeders- there seems a distinct lack of cohesion and warm mummy vibe. We're spoilt for choice with beautiful green areas by a river, playgroups, music classes, sure- but where are mums meant to go and hang out? Not as many home coffee mornings as I had imagined- I've not invited many people round to mine, true- but I suppose we prefer to get out of the house.

If meeting friends or doing Netmums meetups we prefer to go out in the park or somewhere where toddlers can play, playground, walking by river, playgroup, some great pubs with climbing frames, cafés and going further afield to museums, bigger parks, soft plays etc. But I'd rather spend my day actually doing, making and creating things. I miss papier mâché modelling, playing piano, other music and want to make clothes for myself and Leon but find it hard to do it in the flat with him around. With childcare costs high and cherishing the enjoyment of spending time with my son, I'd like the advantage of a big space to make, play and learn things while he's happy doing something else.

And I'm not talking community halls or spaces- unless they've got a good vibe- but more like a decent coffee shop or hub. Somewhere where you enjoy hanging out anyway, and if you want to, you can make a dress, or knit a bit, or dance, or make phone calls, blog, tweet etc.

Like a big living room, but not at home. A super coffee shop!

The problem with Cafés
Coffeeshops today are crappy. There aren't any that I love or feel drawn to, and I often moan that they should add kids play area to keep them occupied while you can have a conversation or get on with something else. Play areas are springing up more often in certain Cafés (East Twick) restaurants (Pizza Express, Richmond) pubs (Teddington Arms Yummy Mummy lunch and Twickenham's Bear kids club) but not enough for my liking!

I'm fortunate to live in the town centre and have over 15 coffeeshops that I can walk to in under 10 mins. But man- if they were good I'd spend a lot more time and money there. Twickenham has it's popular coffeeshops, Zizou, Nero... But others lie empty most the day- never a buzz with people, conversation, comfort or decent music. I find them cold, cramped, without atmosphere that I wonder why no one has made a better one or made more effort to get more customers in. Why can't any café entice me to spend 2 hours there, spend £10 on drinks, snacks and wifi while the child is happily occupied with a few toys and meeting other children? Krafty Kidz play café is a good concept and nearest to what is needed, but it lacks that lounge feel that I'm after. Something for the parents with facilities for kids, instead of the other way round.

I suppose it's done purposefully to encourage faster turnover and of course, who wants to be in a cafe full of yummy mummies and noisy children? Not many locals, and I agree- but why not give us at least one decent coffeeshop where we can all go with our tots (buggy park anyone?) Make it a goodun!

Yes- I'd love to open my own parent-friendly hub offering comfy sofas to gas, read, knit, blog, chill; big tables, snug corners, mini offices, open spaces, decent coffee, work-space, tots' entertainment, free or cheap tutorials (make toddler trousers, make a fab dress, mend your clothes, wrap your baby, sun salutation, music lessons, make play dough, piñatas and pitchers of cocktails). I'd even call it Hubba Bubba. It wouldn't have to be too expensive- plenty of empty shops and offices available to use for cheap- but creating a great, welcoming vibe that makes women feel happy to be mothers!

Basically I'm frustrated that plenty of brands are tapping into the Mummy Market but not those that we need the most! Even Starbucks are ignoring us. I'm sure anyone else would appreciate better coffeeshops, more than just seats and beverages but stimulus, areas for collaboration, and communal activity as well as more comfortable, relaxing seats and lighting.

(Maybe I'd feel differently if I had an enormous lounge)

Review of For Sanity's Sake Networking evening, Twickenham

Last night I had the pleasure of attending a 'working mums' event organised by the lovely ladies at For Sanity's Sake, an incredibly useful website for parents looking to get out of the house with their kids, and Mumpreneurs a networking club for busy business mums holding frequent meetings around UK.

As a freelancer, I love opportunities to network and chat to other people -but the reality is, since having a baby I've hardly had the 'opportunity'. Yes, of course like any other mother we do so constantly chat at baby weigh-ins, or whenever we meet for coffee - but often it's with baby-in tow and sometimes it's hard to get into a proper conversation about ideas, experience and general business chit-chat. Evening events are a whole different matter. You feel a bit like yourself and are more 'woman' than 'mother'.

Naturally, it was lovely to see fellow local ladies that I knew already from different occasions and converse over large glasses of wine, and meet new people sharing their experiences with me about work, childcare, life, babies, fashion, home, de-cluttering, society and plenty of ideas...

However I also enjoyed flitting through the stalls to find out anything useful. I questioned Kinesis Studios about what happens to your back after having babies and carrying them for so long - and about being Tall! They were very helpful explaining that instead of bending over all the time, to use my legs and knees more and as I understood, to move around like a dance! They suggested a consultation to check my back and they do massage and pilates classes and body conditioning... sounds like what I need! A few other useful stalls re childcare, but the best was speaking to the people and the three talks.

Mumpreneurs and networking
 
Sara Guiel, co-founder of Mumpreneurs and a fabulous speaker, explained her motivating story of how she created her business after a hiccup with a franchise - totally turned the situation around and does it all with 3 kids in tow. Seems like a big support to other mums looking to start or grow business. She did mention the reality of working evenings on the computer, which is what I dislike and it's so easy to be glued to laptop researching little things here and there and having 50 tabs open in one session!

With regards to a networking club - I like the idea, though our nearest one is Teddington and I haven't yet been - unsure about paying £15 a session/£110 for the year and if it'd be worth it. I think I'd prefer to just chat informally at other opportunities rather feel that I need to get my money's worth! However I should go along to try it out before making my mind up and the first session is free.

Returning to work tips
 
Gained some useful insight from 2 working mums (3days a week) with 20mth old toddlers in nursery since 8 months old and they're so happy to be there, very social and there's hardly anything to prepare- just dress them and go! Different to my ad-hoc arrangement but good to hear the differences ;)

Main tips I got from throughout the evening from attendees who've gone back to work or from Joy Dykers (Criminal Barrister supermum to one 20month old): Start early, be choosy with childcare, be organised, share responsibilities with partner and don't worry - little one will be having fun and doesn't miss you ;)

Supported by Richmond

The highlight of my evening was perhaps hearing from Pamela Fleming, Councillor for South Richmond (Conservative Strategic Cabinet Member for Community Development if you will) outlining why Richmond needs innovating individuals and how they are supporting local businesses and start-ups. They're keen to transform the town and work on the 'villages' identities' to help businesses looking to set-up shop, and improving tourism specifically in time for the 2012 Olympics and 2015 Rugby World Cup... I'd love to get involved further in contributing to the improvement of our high-streets and general community as feel there's so much potential! Pamela made it clear that so much is possible and advised on some projects that I hope will fructify if I get into gear. Thanks to FSS for helping bring people together! (Though unfortunately Zach Goldsmith couldn't make it at the last minute!)

 
Conclusion of this wonderful soirée

So, all in all, a wonderful chance to chat to mothers you know locally but about other more important things, and to meet other new people, hear stories, gain confidence about doing bold things and reassurance that babies/toddlers are happy even without you...
Surrounded by rather successful, ambitious women definitely gave me food for thought and inspired me to get mucho things done in perhaps the last 6 months I may have in Twickers for a while :( I need to channel my energy and effort and actually make things happen!


As I was heading out the door I had a quick chat with two lovely ladies from The Little Gym
a brilliant place for children to discover movement, space and - well it's a gym for kids! FSS held their Christmas party there so Leon had already tried it out and even though was very sleepy, the encouraging instructors helped him tumble, 'surf' over bug cylinders, fly over my head, swing around and generally introduce things from beyond his comfort zone. Although I don't see myself as a pushy mother, I think he could really benefit from sessions there!