I have a two year old

Since the 5th of January I've been getting to grips with living with my two year old.

Two years old

The past year has been a complete metamorphosis of my little lad growing from a commando crawling not yet one year old, to a running, football-playing, talking, funny, clever little boy. It's amazing to think that the transformation has only happened over one year, from all-fours crawling on his 1st birthday, finally walking at 14 months, then the words started happening. He's really coming on with his talking- so much that he's developed his own language- a mixed up version of English, French and Spanish which is quite cute. He continues to surprise me and can even count to 10. I am amazed at his intelligence! He's at ease on an aeroplane and was lucky to have several holidays this year. He's usually a fab eater, loves playing with his cars, trains, buses and has discovered the telly and the iPad... He also underwent his first hospital operation- ridding him of his Tongue tie, and most importantly- is soon to be a big brother. (Little bro is due TODAY.)

However, his increased communication has empowered him tremendously and he expects to be right, to be answered to, to be heard in his own way- on his terms. It's tiring to hear his whining or see his throwing things and although I feel as though I'm firm, but fair - it's tough and I often give in to his demands. Or conversely, get angry, shout and distance myself from him! I think we need to get out earlier in the morning when all is still peachy and get him to run off that energy before it turns...

When at home he often plays nicely by himself, but it isn't always the case. I enjoy getting down to play with him of course, but I can't the whole time. I'm tired, don't have as much energy as usual and feel he should be able to play on his own and be independent. If I leave him mini challenges, be it a puzzle, his blocks, or tidying away- he can get on with it very well. I think I need to find more ideas for games and tasks to really fulfill him as he just seems, well bored. I love the Montessori ideology of independent learning to help him help himself but I'm not putting enough effort into it.

If he complains, I try to distract him with a game, or offer to read a book... Shamefully, the main bribery that works recently, are the magic words "Shall we watch Fireman Sam?". I know. But I don't do it often. Usually it's him that asks me - and he's so sweet when he does I can hardly say no... Yesterday we had a telly free day and it was brilliant. I feel we're turning over a new leaf and he accepts when I say no, or switch off the telly after one episode. I feel I'm back in charge once again. Slowly.

He's going to the childminder's once a week again (treat from OH) and loves it. I do too and can get on with stuff without interruptions -as bad as it sounds- but it's beneficial for us both. He plays all day and hangs out with different people. When I pick him up again we're both so happy and play together nicely.

At night, he's recently had trouble sleeping on his own, insisting we "sit down!" while he drops off. If he wakes at night he calls out to us and won't cry himself to sleep as he used to. He's stronger, more resilient and doesn't really cry, more yell "MamiTAAAAA!!". We get up and sit by him and sneak off when he's nodded off again. Then if it's past 6, we just bring him into bed with us.

Oh, I don't mean to ramble and reading back it sounds like he's tough but it's just the hard parts that stick in my mind! He's a great kid, and we have lots of fun. It's lovely to see him playing with his little friends and follow how their relationships grow (while I can kick back with the other mummies) and I love how we can have conversations with him, figure out what he's trying to communicate, yet we still underestimate him. He's very sensitive and I'm eager to see how he'll react to the new arrival.

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Prep for train cake

For his birthday, we enjoyed two mini celebrations: one at playgroup and one at the pub! Check out how easy it is to make a fun train cake:

I followed Stork margarine's Victoria sponge recipe they had at the back of the tub (8oz sugar, 8oz margarine, 8oz flour, 1tsp baking powder, 3eggs, 1 tsp vanilla essence, 180C for 25mins), let the cake cool slightly, cut into four and added jam in the middle. I arranged the carriages on a board and cut bits off to form the 'engine'.

Once it looked kind of train-like I covered it with icing, sweets, animals and painted tracks. Et voila a crazy train cake!

Crazy train cake

A plea for decent Coffee shops

I imagined motherhood to open the doors to a warm community of chatting mums exchanging ideas, laughs and doing plenty of things together but alas this seemed a myth. In my outer London town which deceivingly appeals to baby-breeders- there seems a distinct lack of cohesion and warm mummy vibe. We're spoilt for choice with beautiful green areas by a river, playgroups, music classes, sure- but where are mums meant to go and hang out? Not as many home coffee mornings as I had imagined- I've not invited many people round to mine, true- but I suppose we prefer to get out of the house.

If meeting friends or doing Netmums meetups we prefer to go out in the park or somewhere where toddlers can play, playground, walking by river, playgroup, some great pubs with climbing frames, cafés and going further afield to museums, bigger parks, soft plays etc. But I'd rather spend my day actually doing, making and creating things. I miss papier mâché modelling, playing piano, other music and want to make clothes for myself and Leon but find it hard to do it in the flat with him around. With childcare costs high and cherishing the enjoyment of spending time with my son, I'd like the advantage of a big space to make, play and learn things while he's happy doing something else.

And I'm not talking community halls or spaces- unless they've got a good vibe- but more like a decent coffee shop or hub. Somewhere where you enjoy hanging out anyway, and if you want to, you can make a dress, or knit a bit, or dance, or make phone calls, blog, tweet etc.

Like a big living room, but not at home. A super coffee shop!

The problem with Cafés
Coffeeshops today are crappy. There aren't any that I love or feel drawn to, and I often moan that they should add kids play area to keep them occupied while you can have a conversation or get on with something else. Play areas are springing up more often in certain Cafés (East Twick) restaurants (Pizza Express, Richmond) pubs (Teddington Arms Yummy Mummy lunch and Twickenham's Bear kids club) but not enough for my liking!

I'm fortunate to live in the town centre and have over 15 coffeeshops that I can walk to in under 10 mins. But man- if they were good I'd spend a lot more time and money there. Twickenham has it's popular coffeeshops, Zizou, Nero... But others lie empty most the day- never a buzz with people, conversation, comfort or decent music. I find them cold, cramped, without atmosphere that I wonder why no one has made a better one or made more effort to get more customers in. Why can't any café entice me to spend 2 hours there, spend £10 on drinks, snacks and wifi while the child is happily occupied with a few toys and meeting other children? Krafty Kidz play café is a good concept and nearest to what is needed, but it lacks that lounge feel that I'm after. Something for the parents with facilities for kids, instead of the other way round.

I suppose it's done purposefully to encourage faster turnover and of course, who wants to be in a cafe full of yummy mummies and noisy children? Not many locals, and I agree- but why not give us at least one decent coffeeshop where we can all go with our tots (buggy park anyone?) Make it a goodun!

Yes- I'd love to open my own parent-friendly hub offering comfy sofas to gas, read, knit, blog, chill; big tables, snug corners, mini offices, open spaces, decent coffee, work-space, tots' entertainment, free or cheap tutorials (make toddler trousers, make a fab dress, mend your clothes, wrap your baby, sun salutation, music lessons, make play dough, piñatas and pitchers of cocktails). I'd even call it Hubba Bubba. It wouldn't have to be too expensive- plenty of empty shops and offices available to use for cheap- but creating a great, welcoming vibe that makes women feel happy to be mothers!

Basically I'm frustrated that plenty of brands are tapping into the Mummy Market but not those that we need the most! Even Starbucks are ignoring us. I'm sure anyone else would appreciate better coffeeshops, more than just seats and beverages but stimulus, areas for collaboration, and communal activity as well as more comfortable, relaxing seats and lighting.

(Maybe I'd feel differently if I had an enormous lounge)

Baby Cinema

I can't wait for Buggyfit to be over so I can go and sit in cinema stuffing myself with popcorn!

The geniuses at Odeon cinemas allow you to bring your baby to the cinema on Thursday mornings to catch a film while feeding your baby. The sound is a bit lower and it's not so dark so it's baby-friendly and it doesn't matter if they make a bit of noise!

Visit their website to see what's playing in your area: http://www.odeon.co.uk/fanatic/newbies/