I have a two year old

Since the 5th of January I've been getting to grips with living with my two year old.

Two years old

The past year has been a complete metamorphosis of my little lad growing from a commando crawling not yet one year old, to a running, football-playing, talking, funny, clever little boy. It's amazing to think that the transformation has only happened over one year, from all-fours crawling on his 1st birthday, finally walking at 14 months, then the words started happening. He's really coming on with his talking- so much that he's developed his own language- a mixed up version of English, French and Spanish which is quite cute. He continues to surprise me and can even count to 10. I am amazed at his intelligence! He's at ease on an aeroplane and was lucky to have several holidays this year. He's usually a fab eater, loves playing with his cars, trains, buses and has discovered the telly and the iPad... He also underwent his first hospital operation- ridding him of his Tongue tie, and most importantly- is soon to be a big brother. (Little bro is due TODAY.)

However, his increased communication has empowered him tremendously and he expects to be right, to be answered to, to be heard in his own way- on his terms. It's tiring to hear his whining or see his throwing things and although I feel as though I'm firm, but fair - it's tough and I often give in to his demands. Or conversely, get angry, shout and distance myself from him! I think we need to get out earlier in the morning when all is still peachy and get him to run off that energy before it turns...

When at home he often plays nicely by himself, but it isn't always the case. I enjoy getting down to play with him of course, but I can't the whole time. I'm tired, don't have as much energy as usual and feel he should be able to play on his own and be independent. If I leave him mini challenges, be it a puzzle, his blocks, or tidying away- he can get on with it very well. I think I need to find more ideas for games and tasks to really fulfill him as he just seems, well bored. I love the Montessori ideology of independent learning to help him help himself but I'm not putting enough effort into it.

If he complains, I try to distract him with a game, or offer to read a book... Shamefully, the main bribery that works recently, are the magic words "Shall we watch Fireman Sam?". I know. But I don't do it often. Usually it's him that asks me - and he's so sweet when he does I can hardly say no... Yesterday we had a telly free day and it was brilliant. I feel we're turning over a new leaf and he accepts when I say no, or switch off the telly after one episode. I feel I'm back in charge once again. Slowly.

He's going to the childminder's once a week again (treat from OH) and loves it. I do too and can get on with stuff without interruptions -as bad as it sounds- but it's beneficial for us both. He plays all day and hangs out with different people. When I pick him up again we're both so happy and play together nicely.

At night, he's recently had trouble sleeping on his own, insisting we "sit down!" while he drops off. If he wakes at night he calls out to us and won't cry himself to sleep as he used to. He's stronger, more resilient and doesn't really cry, more yell "MamiTAAAAA!!". We get up and sit by him and sneak off when he's nodded off again. Then if it's past 6, we just bring him into bed with us.

Oh, I don't mean to ramble and reading back it sounds like he's tough but it's just the hard parts that stick in my mind! He's a great kid, and we have lots of fun. It's lovely to see him playing with his little friends and follow how their relationships grow (while I can kick back with the other mummies) and I love how we can have conversations with him, figure out what he's trying to communicate, yet we still underestimate him. He's very sensitive and I'm eager to see how he'll react to the new arrival.

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Prep for train cake

For his birthday, we enjoyed two mini celebrations: one at playgroup and one at the pub! Check out how easy it is to make a fun train cake:

I followed Stork margarine's Victoria sponge recipe they had at the back of the tub (8oz sugar, 8oz margarine, 8oz flour, 1tsp baking powder, 3eggs, 1 tsp vanilla essence, 180C for 25mins), let the cake cool slightly, cut into four and added jam in the middle. I arranged the carriages on a board and cut bits off to form the 'engine'.

Once it looked kind of train-like I covered it with icing, sweets, animals and painted tracks. Et voila a crazy train cake!

Crazy train cake

Tongue-tied but not for long

Quick word of advice: if your baby is born with a Tongue-tie, ask the hospital to snip it asap. It's the best time to deal with it and avoids anaesthetised operations and speech therapy later on.

As a newborn, tongue-tied Leon was feeding well so the hospital advised to leave it, and see if it 'snapped' or 'stretched'. A few months later our GP eventually referred us to paediatric ENT after we raised our concerns about how it would effect his language learning and noting how there been no 'snapping' or 'stretching' of the frenulum linguae (the extra skin attaching the Tongue to the bottom of the mouth).

At 6 months, we saw the ENT consultant, and reluctant to operate on it- given no current inconvenience to Leon or the feeding - he asked us to come back after Leon turned 1. We were told it was likely to stretch - but reading the word of WikiPedia (reliable source!) it probably wouldn't have changed significantly.

During early gestation (as early as 4 weeks) the lingual frenulum serves as a guide for the forward growth of the tongue. After birth the tip of the tongue continues to elongate, giving the impression of the frenulum retracting, though in reality this has been going on for some time before birth. This is what gives the impression that the frenulums of some previously tongue-tied infants will "stretch" with age and growth. In reality the tongue often just grows beyond the frenulum, although some do also stretch and/or rupture after mild accidents. Many others continue to cause problems throughout life, unless corrected

Now almost 20 months old Leon is saying a few words. At the recent consultation with Mr ENT I listed all the reasons we wanted the snip:
- We're raising him trilingual and although vocalising well, we don't want to make it harder for him to pronounce certain sounds with a tongue-tie
- Socially, we don't want him to be teased for a lisp or unable to stick out his tongue
- More to hubby's concern, he needs full use of his tongue to be be able to 'French Kiss' amongst other things... (I DON'T want to think of my toddler engaging in that kind of stuff, but I remember an emotional plea from a 13 year old girl on a Netmums forum telling how awful it was to have a tongue-tie that she couldn't get a boyfriend and "please deal with your child's tongue-tie if they have on" That stuck with me)

I asked for recommendations on hospitals to approach should we need to do it privately, armed with a short-list of 3 London hospitals found at the Baby Friendly Initiative by UNICEF.

Mr ENT agreed to the operation but I could tell he was reluctant. I suppose it's preferable to avoid surgery on a toddler- particularly if it involves having a general anaesthetic for 15 mins, but I was happy with the outcome. He explained that it will bleed a bit but should scar over quickly ie. No need for stitches. Doesn't sound too bad- but hard to think of a little 20 month old going under for an operation.

All I had to do was sit and wait for the letter with the date. I received the letter.

However, the operation is due in November- TWO days before we have a 12-hour flight to Mexico. Brilliant. I couldn't get through to Mr ENTs secretary on Friday so fingers crossed it will be OK or we'll need to change it for our return...

Now that's what I'm talking about

Life with my little Leon is getting exciting. If I ask him "Where's your head/shoes/tummy?" he knows and pats or wriggles them. "Could you put this in the bin please?" He'll take his nappy sack or empty juice carton and toddle off to throw it in the bin. It's brilliant to see him understanding so much though he's not really talking much more than "Hola" and "Bye Bye!" and the occasional word copying from 'teaching' to 'doggie'. He babbles away to himself and others rather frequently and it's lovely to see him have conversations with other children. I was concerned about him not talking yet but read that multilingual children tend to start speaking later.

Bilingualism and stats
When catching up on Mummy Zen I came across this TED video explaining the critical period of language learning and how babies learn this through statistics. In terms of learning a second language, babies and children are geniuses until the age of 7 and then there's a steep decline in ability to learn a second language. Bilinguals must keep two sets of statistics in their head and switch between them. Where exposed to mandarin in 12 sessions from 6 months to 12 months the tested babies understood the same as a Taiwanese baby! Incredible.

Interestingly babies do not take these statistics from audio or video cues but from human beings. So it's better to have that foreign friend, relative or neighbour speak to your tot if you wish for them to learn another language rather than stick them in front of Sesame Street in spanish ;)

Involving him when reading
Thanks to Working London Mummy's guest post at Dr Greene where she outlined the importance of involving your little ones when reading, I made a mental note and when next reading Goodnight Moon with Leon before bed, I asked him where the telephone, red balloon and clocks where - he found them ALL!! I was so proud of him and to think I'd just never asked him before. I was so happy I yelled out to hubby who dashed over and tried the same thing in french but alas- drew a completely blank look from little Leon.

He still can't show him his tete or nez and I feebly explained it's down to my spending more time with him and reading to him in english. Since then, I've moved away from the OPOL (One Parent, One Language) method and have been speaking spanish and a bit of french to him, in fear of him not picking them up as well as english. I'm now making an effort to read a french book or poem every other night as well as one or two other english books and hope he progresses with his understanding of french. Having said that - hubby will also need to spend more time with littl'un and make the most of their Father and son Saturday!

See you at Cybermummy ;)

Mixed up Baby

I loved growing up with a Mexican mother and English father and feel very Mexican- but having lived in London for all my life I can't help but feel more British! We used to go to Mexico every year and it was crazy. Two weeks of full-on family time with our hundreds of cousins made us want to stay there forever as it was such fun. Now, with my new family of my own, I want to bring up my children with British and Mexican culture - (hubby can instill the French side) and hopefully workout the challenges that a trilingual family may face!
 
My most recent freelance project has re-immersed me in my Mexican roots and personally, I've come across some wonderful blogs that I'd like to follow in more detail: from cooking Mexican food in "Abuelita's way", to finding Spanish nursery rhymes, and help to raise a multilingual family. It's made me more adamant not to lose any of my culture and it's comforting to see others in a similar situation. One such blog : Little M's Bilingual Corner asks how multilingual and multicultured families choose names for their children. Ours goes like this:


We didn't know the sex of the baby so tried to think of names for both that would work in English, Spanish and French. For a girl, I wanted something pretty, fun and preferably Mexican (even Aztec!) and for a boy, just something that would WORK! We also wanted to include names already in the family and in the French way, would have THREE first names...  in a way, it was ideal as we could include one name from my family and one from hubby's and come up with an original name for the baby. 

We'd tell our families the lists of names we thought of to gauge reactions and they would happily suggest some alternatives. It was a lot of fun - and we had a top 5 for each sex, though I didn't feel comfortable naming the baby without even seeing it! So, we waited to name it after it popped out. Names included: Cossima, Constantina, Zaza, Margarita, Zeltzin for Girls and Ernest/o, Gaston, Zoltan, Jimmy, Leon for boys. (Yeah looking back now some are a bit weird... but I still love them!)


When he was born and I saw his little face, his name wasn't the first thing I was thinking about but after half an hour or so, we decided on LEON! In French it would be Léon (LAY-on) and in Spanish León (Leh-ON). In English it's more Lee-on and in the days to follow I realised I didn't like how it sounded out of my mouth so I say León.

His middle names are Jorge, which is my Mexican grandfather's name, and Gaston, my husband's great-grandfather- feedback on the British side for this as a first name was always related to the baddie in Disney's Beauty & the Best unsurprisingly but as a middle name it's cool! I like the mix - and although there's not much Britishness going in - he was born here and has a British passport so it kind of balances out. The next two will probably be born in Latin America or France so then we can choose the names accordingly...