Review of For Sanity's Sake Networking evening, Twickenham

Last night I had the pleasure of attending a 'working mums' event organised by the lovely ladies at For Sanity's Sake, an incredibly useful website for parents looking to get out of the house with their kids, and Mumpreneurs a networking club for busy business mums holding frequent meetings around UK.

As a freelancer, I love opportunities to network and chat to other people -but the reality is, since having a baby I've hardly had the 'opportunity'. Yes, of course like any other mother we do so constantly chat at baby weigh-ins, or whenever we meet for coffee - but often it's with baby-in tow and sometimes it's hard to get into a proper conversation about ideas, experience and general business chit-chat. Evening events are a whole different matter. You feel a bit like yourself and are more 'woman' than 'mother'.

Naturally, it was lovely to see fellow local ladies that I knew already from different occasions and converse over large glasses of wine, and meet new people sharing their experiences with me about work, childcare, life, babies, fashion, home, de-cluttering, society and plenty of ideas...

However I also enjoyed flitting through the stalls to find out anything useful. I questioned Kinesis Studios about what happens to your back after having babies and carrying them for so long - and about being Tall! They were very helpful explaining that instead of bending over all the time, to use my legs and knees more and as I understood, to move around like a dance! They suggested a consultation to check my back and they do massage and pilates classes and body conditioning... sounds like what I need! A few other useful stalls re childcare, but the best was speaking to the people and the three talks.

Mumpreneurs and networking
 
Sara Guiel, co-founder of Mumpreneurs and a fabulous speaker, explained her motivating story of how she created her business after a hiccup with a franchise - totally turned the situation around and does it all with 3 kids in tow. Seems like a big support to other mums looking to start or grow business. She did mention the reality of working evenings on the computer, which is what I dislike and it's so easy to be glued to laptop researching little things here and there and having 50 tabs open in one session!

With regards to a networking club - I like the idea, though our nearest one is Teddington and I haven't yet been - unsure about paying £15 a session/£110 for the year and if it'd be worth it. I think I'd prefer to just chat informally at other opportunities rather feel that I need to get my money's worth! However I should go along to try it out before making my mind up and the first session is free.

Returning to work tips
 
Gained some useful insight from 2 working mums (3days a week) with 20mth old toddlers in nursery since 8 months old and they're so happy to be there, very social and there's hardly anything to prepare- just dress them and go! Different to my ad-hoc arrangement but good to hear the differences ;)

Main tips I got from throughout the evening from attendees who've gone back to work or from Joy Dykers (Criminal Barrister supermum to one 20month old): Start early, be choosy with childcare, be organised, share responsibilities with partner and don't worry - little one will be having fun and doesn't miss you ;)

Supported by Richmond

The highlight of my evening was perhaps hearing from Pamela Fleming, Councillor for South Richmond (Conservative Strategic Cabinet Member for Community Development if you will) outlining why Richmond needs innovating individuals and how they are supporting local businesses and start-ups. They're keen to transform the town and work on the 'villages' identities' to help businesses looking to set-up shop, and improving tourism specifically in time for the 2012 Olympics and 2015 Rugby World Cup... I'd love to get involved further in contributing to the improvement of our high-streets and general community as feel there's so much potential! Pamela made it clear that so much is possible and advised on some projects that I hope will fructify if I get into gear. Thanks to FSS for helping bring people together! (Though unfortunately Zach Goldsmith couldn't make it at the last minute!)

 
Conclusion of this wonderful soirée

So, all in all, a wonderful chance to chat to mothers you know locally but about other more important things, and to meet other new people, hear stories, gain confidence about doing bold things and reassurance that babies/toddlers are happy even without you...
Surrounded by rather successful, ambitious women definitely gave me food for thought and inspired me to get mucho things done in perhaps the last 6 months I may have in Twickers for a while :( I need to channel my energy and effort and actually make things happen!


As I was heading out the door I had a quick chat with two lovely ladies from The Little Gym
a brilliant place for children to discover movement, space and - well it's a gym for kids! FSS held their Christmas party there so Leon had already tried it out and even though was very sleepy, the encouraging instructors helped him tumble, 'surf' over bug cylinders, fly over my head, swing around and generally introduce things from beyond his comfort zone. Although I don't see myself as a pushy mother, I think he could really benefit from sessions there!

Mum friends

Being the first of my friends to have babies and moving back to SW London I needed to find other mummies in my hood to hang out with. I thought that this would be easy living in a London borough that is a huge magnet to young families. Though when only a few mothers were smiling back in the streets and I failed at conversing in the weigh-in clinic I felt a bit disgruntled and stuck to my child-less mates enjoying the attention and cups of tea. I suppose I never really thought about how to meet other mums in the beginning - I just got on with the job in hand and enjoyed seeing people I already knew.
When I realised I wanted to meet others in the same boat - and to while away the week instead of eating my parents' food and shopping, I tried the local Netmums meet a mum board and went on a few mum 'dates'. This was brilliant and I met so many different people - my fears of socialising solely with old mumsy types was diminished. (My health visitor told me that the average age of first-time mums in my area was 42 and I must admit I was worried)

[For those thinking why I didn't meet others whilst preggers : I hadn't signed up to NCT as it seemed expensive and I dreaded the thought of hanging out with the stereotypical local mumsy thirty-something banker wives. The local ante-natal classes were cancelled in my area (thanks NHS) and I had to go to the hospital's very basic sessions. There were only two and although lovely - I didn't keep in touch with the 2 couples I met there)

A few months on, and I'm happy to have found a cool group of mums, all different in ages and personality, but with babes in 0-2yr range. Not a real clique, but a regular set who I've met a few times and have now become my friends :)

I'd like to try and help others do the same to avoid missing out on some mummy action. Living in a parent-zone I though there would be some mother camadarie but was disappointed at the lack of community. I'm no social recluse, and can talk to people on the bus, weigh-in clinic, exercise class - but sometimes organised meetups are the way to go. Check out these links if you're in the need to meet some others in the same baby-boat. You need to register for most of them.

Netmums has been a god-send- for one-on-one and group meet-ups
http://www.netmums.com/h/f/MEET/meetamum/
http://www.netmums.com/meet/Netmums_Meetups.1285/

For Sanity's Sake is an excellent new initiative already serving more than 300 members in the local borough of Richmond Upon Thames. Think Netmums, Mumsnet, Babycentre etc without the forum discussions, and with detailed local calendar listings and meetups.
http://www.forsanitysake.co.uk/

Some people have found NCT really useful so find out where your local group is when pregnant just in case. The formal ante-natal are fee-paying, but most bumps and babies meetups are open to all. I enjoy going to a nearby weekly NCT meetup at a nearby pub for a Friday afternoon drink ;)
http://www.nct.org.uk/in-your-area


In Twickenham in particular there is so much potential for locally-led community initiatives. Everyone's concerned about physical changes to the town, but I'm hoping to see all the services and local businesses work together to support each other and the local people to behave like a community. E.g. Councils putting pressure on local landlords to allow the use of empty-shops to be run as short-term hubs for people to come together to work, play, chill. Or more permanently like Grassroots in West Ham or The Hub community centre in Hounslow. But that's another blog post altogether.

Until then, happy mum-meeting!