So, it has come to an end - my bouncing little cherub of 7 and a half months is coming off the boob. I feel liberated but a bit sad that I may never breastfeed again - it's such a beautiful feeling to produce your baby's milk and satisfy their demands with your body. Their sounds of indulgent gulping throughout, and contented cooing after they've finished a feed - all produced by you. I loved how easy it was (after the first week's soreness hurdle) to feed my baby and not need to sterilise bottles and buy powder and have water ready at a time when Elias needed feeding the most often. Milk on tap, portable, warm and forever ready beat night-time formula prep and also gave me an extra hand free to pick up my coffee (it's OK during a feed!), browse online, stroke baby or fend off a toddler. Oh, and it gave me massive boobs for a while, which is such a change!
Although he's forever developing, I feel as though Elias has entered a new phase of mobility, exploration, and communication that ties in well with a severence of our special bond. I too, am entering a new phase of independence and freedom, allbeit due to my own disorganisation of not expressing milk or leaving my baby for too long. Most mothers balance breastfeeding well with normal life, my response was to just involve my baby with everything I did and everywhere I went, thanks largely to babywearing - but now I want to burst free and go out dancing, drinking, stay out late, largely because I can - but mainly because I miss it. (err I haven't yet but want to! On the hunt for a babysitter ;)
Gosh this sounds dramatic and life-changing but it's a just a new phase of so many others: he's commando crawling, loves holding our hands and going for a little walk, leading the weaning and I had almost forgotten how messy that gets! His night-time sleep is always interrupted by a need for 2 bottles which is frustrating and tells me he needs to eat more during the day, but this is part of our journey to make him a strong little boy and I'm happy knowing that I started it the best way I could.
Now, to wait for les boobs to settle and go underwear shopping!